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Thursday, February 15, 2018

Flying unattached

I am flying unattached. Unattached because I am not in a relationship and unattached from outcomes. Yesterday was Valentine's Day and when I got to the office flowers were on my desk. Not from a secret admirer like last year (yes this is the second year in a row that I got unexpected flowers on Valentine's Day), but from a person that I have just been friendly. I speak to him every day at work and listen to him tell me about his life. The things that I do normally with no expectation of a reward. There is no romance there. Just genuine friendship. 

I also applied for a job that feels way out of my comfort zone. I have the qualifications. I was not going to apply but really did not have a reason not to. So I did. I am not consumed with apprehension over the selection process or even if I make the final round. I may get the job and I may not. I put my best foot forward that the rest is not up to me. 

Then a potential opportunity came my way.  I tried to play it down when a friend told me that it was time for me to fully appreciate my worth and ask for what I truly deserve. This required me to do some research and actually ask for fair market value for my services instead of allowing others to determine and decide that for me. At first, I was very uncomfortable in the process. I found plenty of reasons NOT to give myself a fair assessment. Then I realized that I would be incredibly angry if someone else did that to me. So I asked for what I am worth. I may not get the gig, but I have set the precedence for myself. I am unattached from the outcome. I did my best. And it is interesting how many others in the same position do not ask for what they are worth out of fear of rejection. I get it, I am just not in that space anymore. 

So, my friends ask fair market value for your services regardless of what others say. Always do your best and do not sweat the outcome. 

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