Flying with expectations

Daniela Cuevas

I am training for my 5th marathon. This past Sunday I was scheduled to run 15 miles. I always dread the long runs until I get started. Then chattiness among friends generally takes over and the miles fly by. 

Sunday was not exception. I ran with a new friend. We were flying. Almost for real, we were running well ahead of my marathon pace. I felt comfortable. I wasn't winded or even tired. But then my head started the negative talk. It told me that I don't run that fast, that I cold not keep up that pace, and the list goes on. 

I did slow it down on the way back because one of the main goals of running with my friends is to run with my friends. Another woman ran with our new friend and I ran with the women who come out to support me week after week. That is really what I expect. 

Contrary to popular mythology, the best and most durable relationships are based not on vulnerability or passion but on a conjugation of positive attributes, a meeting of mind, body and soul that is all the more powerful as it is not weighed down with neediness and unreasonable expectation.

Mariella Frostrup