It has indeed been awhile since I took a yoga class from my sistergirlfriend Atmah Ja. It isn't that I don't like her class, it is just timing and isn't timing everything? Today I almost did not make it again. I had the time, but my head just wasn't feeling it. But a power stronger than me, got me up dressed and out of the door.
Atmah's class is different than warm flow. Not worse, just different. First, there is no heat other than the heat that our bodies generate during the practice. Next, we move from one pose to the other but it isn't exactly a flow.
I am sooo glad I went to class today. For me today almost as important as the physical workout was the mental stimulation. Today, Atmah told us to focus on the ways that we enfeeble ourselves. Enfeeble. It basically means to deprive of strength. It is all of the behaviors, thoughts, and beliefs we use keep ourselves from thriving. You know all of the "I can'ts, I won'ts, I am nots, I never wills, it will never be, etc."
What a strong word. A word that I had never heard of before, but as soon as she said it, I felt as if I had been punched in my stomach. I am doing that to myself in more ways than one.
She told us to identify the ways and beliefs that we use and set out to remove them from our lives. I needed to hear that. I had been thinking that, but I needed someone to stand in front of me and tell me to do it. Bottom line: I need to stop enfeebling myself even when the behaviors, thoughts, or beliefs seem valid.
From the moment she uttered that word and explanation, my practice took on a new direction. My mind started to list my enfeebling behaviors, thoughts, and beliefs and I began to unwind them. Of course it is not that simple. Those thoughts did not just appear overnight and making them disappear will take some effort. But that is okay, as I move closer and closer to pretzelness I will gain strength and from strength comes power. One breath at a time.
Join me with Atmah http://www.atmahjas.com at http://www.coastalbody.com Mondays at 10:30am. Pretzelness is waiting for you, as well.
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