Flying moving or maybe not

Averie Woodard

Last week was crazy. It almost all seems a blur except for the fact that my friend Alison Piepmeier lost her battle with cancer. That sticks in my mind. If you did not have the pleasure of meeting her you really missed out. She was freaking amazing. That is all I can say about that right now. It is all still so raw. And yes we knew it was coming, but still somewhere in the back of my mind I was waiting for that miracle that happens against all odds.

My house is on the market. I am anxious when I know that what happens now is no longer in my control. I have done the best I could with what I had and with what others gave me. It is going to be alright. Things always turn out just the way they are supposed to even against all odds. And somethings are just what they are without a disguise. I am learning that lesson again. I think this makes round number five. Maybe this time it will stick.

I know that there are people out there who would love to have my problems. At least that is what I have been told. Which is exactly why I tell very little. Yet even I know I am allowed to not be strong from time to time. I may not always acknowledge that fact, but I know it. The problem is that if and when I decide not to be strong or when I just can't be, there is hardly anywhere for me to go. Someone asked me the other night "What keeps your faith and your strength during the turbulent times of your life?" I simply replied, "I have to keep going because if I don't know what else to do. I have not been conditioned to fall and wait for someone to pick me up or for someone to come home to." My strength comes out of necessity. And I am thankful for that.

I know there will always be someone who has it worse than I do. I get that. However, that does not make me feel any less feeling whatever I am feeling right now. I am not sure what I am feeling, I am just ready to feel some other kind of way. Yes, I know that this, too shall pass. And today just like every other day, there are more important things than my crazy feelings in spite of what I really think. Life is good.