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Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Flying like crazy

On my plate this week is heading to Savannah to teach and flying to DC to run the Marine Corps marathon and then almost immediately heading back to Savannah. So Tuesday morning I packed. I packed for my short Savannah trip, my trip to DC, and my second trip to Savannah. Fortunately, Laura made my meals for this week. I have been attempting to save money by taking my meals to Savannah instead of eating out.  

My student loan payments have begun. I do not qualify for another deferment so I am on the income based repayment which is still pretty steep considering everything else I am paying. The payment that hurts the most is the income tax penalty for using part of my 401(k). I just want to scream. 

I know that things will eventually work out, but in the meantime I am barely scraping by. I often feel that I am not doing enough, that at my age and experience I should be more together. I should be relaxing not thinking about getting a second job or pawning a kidney. 

This is the price I pay for independence. For not following the beat of someone else's drum. For not bowing to convention, the ordinary, or the safe. For doing things my way. I indeed have stories to tell and one day I will find time to put them in a book, just not now. 

I do not see the light at the end of the tunnel nor do I see a freight train headed to run over me. So right now all is well and my struggle continues. So if anyone sees the college loan payment fairy, send her my way. 

If my ship sails from sight, it doesn't mean my journey ends, it simply means the river bends. 
Enoch Powell


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