Flying with the power of forgiveness

I had an interesting discussion about forgiveness. Forgiveness allows us to be free to move past whatever it was that hurt us. And that includes the people who did it. When you forgive someone, that does not mean that you are ready to continue the relationship. It simply means that you have decided to let go of the incident. You have chosen peace over the strive. This is one of those things that is easier said than done.

I think forgiveness is an art. It takes time and space to nurture it and to perform it effortlessly. I am not sure the process I go through to forgive. I would like to say that it just happens, but I am not that mature. I do find it easier to let things go now than before. Maybe I am growing up just a bit.

Here are four powerful steps to forgiveness from one of the world’s foremost experts on the subject, Dr. Fredrick Luskin found at http://www.learningpeace.com/pages/LP_10.htm

1. Close your eyes, and for about 20 seconds, picture the person who hurt or angered you. Let all your grievances come up. Notice what happens in your body -- acceleration of heart-beat, shallow breathing, tension, etc.

2. Now let go of this image and take some slow, deep abdominal breaths. Focus on your abdomen, and imagine the breath going down into it as you inhale. Expand your abdomen on each inhalation, and deflate your abdomen as you exhale. Take about five breaths and keep your focus on your abdomen. If your mind goes back to the person who hurt you or to anything else, bring the focus back to the rhythm of your breath and the movement of your abdominal muscles as you inhale and exhale.

3. Bring into your mind an image of someone you love very much, or a place of peace and beauty. Allow yourself to be flooded with the positive feelings this image elicits. Now bring those feelings down to the area around your heart. Allow the good feelings to penetrate your heart and soothe you.

4. Lastly, keep breathing the good feelings into your heart. Now take a look again at the person you are angry at. Let the good feelings protect you. The purpose of doing this step is to break the pattern of stress reactions that normally occur in your mind and body when you think of the person who hurt you. When you surround your heart with positive energy, the power the person has had over you begins to dissipate.

Whether you follow these steps or develop your own, know that forgiveness is powerful. It frees you to fly above the fray and to see the many blessings that await you.