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Tuesday, April 21, 2015


Right now I am not flying. Or maybe I am really flying in super slow motion that I cannot feel any movement. And believe me, I am looking. Maybe it is one of those times when the movement is not noticeable to the naked eye. I hope so. 

Benjamin Sloth

This is one of those moments when I know I am being tested. I know that I will come out on the other side of this. Maybe a bit scratched, bruised, bloody but somehow intact. I will be able to talk about the happy ending. Just not right now. 

I have no reason to complain. Not knowing what I know. Knowing that there are people having a much more difficult time than I am. Knowing that I am not the one sleeping in my car, under a bridge, or in a cardboard box tonight or any other night. I am not that person. And I pray very hard for those who are. And believe me, they are closer than you think. 

I need to learn to lean more. Or to coast as my brother once said. Let someone else drive the car from time to time. Let someone else be strong. And even when there doesn't seem to be someone else, there always is. Be open. Be honest. Be grateful for the journey. 

And yes, I know Iyanla Vanzant said that someone told her "When you do not ask for what you need, the need gets bigger." And I know that is true. But what happens when you do not know what you need? Does that make the need less of a need? Or does it evolve into fear? 

In end it doesn't really matter because nothing lasts forever. The problem gets resolved one way or another. We just get to choose how we behave in the meantime.