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Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Flying in changing relationships

How do you break up with a sistergirlfriend? When the relationship just isn't working anymore? When you have grown in different ways and no one is angry? When it takes more time to reach out than you want to invest? Do you just let it die a slow death and continue on with your new life? Do you try to talk it out and find a new ground?

I am not really sure. Right now I am leaning towards letting the relationship morph into whatever it is going to be and to learn to appreciate it. That's what I feel like doing. But is that really fair? I would not allow a romantic relationship to end that way. I would be demanding explanations so that I can seek closure. So, why am I okay to just let this sistergirlfriend just evaporate?

Maybe because we both know that life goes on and that not everyone can travel on our life's journeys with us. Maybe because right here and right now we are both consumed with things that take us out of each other's orbit. Or maybe I am afraid that if the words are spoken we will be lost to each other forever. Maybe it is easier to let it drift and then later we can simply say "I don't know what happened..."

I have no answer. It just feels strange. It is a transition. Change is often difficult even if it is for the best. But how can losing a sistergirlfriend be for the best? I wonder and yet I know it is for the best. There are times when we need to stretch ourselves and fly without the flock every now and then. Maybe it is to test our wings, maybe it is to be free, or maybe it is to find a new flock heading to a new destination.

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.

Anatole France


dlg said...

I am going through this same thing right now and asking myself the same questions. How to let your friend just fade from your life after so long? We are going down two different paths and in two entirely different chapters in our books.

She did something that really hurt me and now I'm like, Wow, we aren't really sistergirlfriends anymore. It's a hard to pill to swallow, but sometimes, it's one that it'll make me feel better in the future.

I really liked the end quote.

Anonymous said...

Regardless of all explanations, I find it sad, melancholy as you said.