Search This Blog

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Flying into uncharted waters

Today is my mother's birthday and tonight at 7pm I will be defending the first three chapters of my dissertation. This has been a long time coming and yet I am anxious. I know that I know my material and have practiced my presentation over and over again. So why is there a little bit of nagging doubt in the back of my mind? Why is so easy to believe that I could blow this and have to do it over? Why isn't is as easy to think that I can do this because I have worked so hard and that I deserve this?

Maybe because knowing that I got this feels a little like bragging. It feels a bit less humbled. Maybe right now I am thinking that someone else should be telling my story. Why am I not comfortable telling my own story? Why do I feel that having someone else tell it makes it more true, more right?

I am flying into uncharted waters and that is a good thing. I am telling my own story. No one can tell it better. And it is my right. After tonight, I will be one step closer to becoming Dr. Walker. Yes, I will because I worked hard and I got this.

"Only by owning who and what you are can you step into the fullness of life"
-Oprah

3 comments:

Becca said...

Congratulations on making it to the point of defense in your dissertation! Very few people get that far, so you have already achieved SO much!

I enjoyed meeting you at Angie's this morning, and will follow you journey with excitement and interest :)

doretha said...

Becca-THANK YOU!I successfully defended the first three chapters of my dissertation last night and cannot stop smiling. I will follow your blog as well. It was so nice to meet you.

Cookie said...

D, Congrats! I know you hit it out of the park. Happy belated birthday to your Mom!
Can't wait for the day we can all call you DR W.
So proud to know you. Keep on the path!
Much respect,
Cookie